Irrational fears based on false beliefs about us are one of the main causes of anxiety and failure to reach our potential. Fear is a unique emotion. It can save us from real danger. At the same time, it can keep us from relationships or activities that are good for us. We may fear what other people will think about us so we don't exercise, or we fear failure so we don't take classes toward the degree we’ve dreamed of.
To conquer fear, you can’t allow it to stay unspoken or lurk in the dark corners of your mind. You must face it, examine it, challenge it, and push back against it. Take out a pen and paper and write out exactly what fear is keeping you from moving forward. Then challenge it. Write out why it is not true and how it holds you back. Discuss it with a trusted friend. By facing your fear, you can defeat it.
To help face your fears and anxiety, try keeping a journal specifically to record your experiences of fear and anxiety. How does your body react, what time of day or night is worse? What do you tend to do when your fears arise? Once you notice a pattern you can explore what is generating your increased irrational alarm. Find a trusted friend or professional who can help you walk through what may be going on. Remember, the first step to overcoming a fear is to face it.
When you notice fear cropping up causing anxiety or trouble moving forward try practicing deep breathing. Your breathing changes when you're anxious which leads to a stronger stress response. Once you have recognized that you are becoming fearful, stop and focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath in, and then slowly let it out. Make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale. Do these three to ten times. This isn't a psychological trick; deep breathing forces your body to calm itself.
If there is something you know is good for you, but you are afraid to do it, make a list of several small steps you can take to move you closer to your goal. Take one step every day until you reach your intended aspiration. If your goal is to take a college class, start by researching where you could go. Next visit the campus. Third, talk to a professor. Fourth, talk to someone who took classes there. The next thing you know is you have conquered your fear.
Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I wonder what our lives could be like if we took the former first lady’s advice.
https://reallifecounseling.us/overcome-fear-and-anxiety/
-Jerry Strausbaugh, EdD, LPCCS, Executive Director
